physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
