Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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