Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
