I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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