Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
