At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Randomize
