What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I still have a little drunk in my system
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
