shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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