Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
