sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm at about main and main street
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize