Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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