Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Too much gin, very little bucket
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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