there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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