Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize