i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
