Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
