i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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