So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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