i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
