Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
