maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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