im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
