Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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