And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
