Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
