I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
