we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
