hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
