I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
