remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm really busy with my period
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