Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
