Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
