I accidentally had phone sex last night
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
