I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize