SEEEEXXX PLEASE
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
