She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
