a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
