We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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