i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
