I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
