What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i think my cat just said my name.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
