:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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