Soap is not a condiment
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
