I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
