Heybabeimwearingurpanties
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
