Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
