Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it glows. i had to have it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize