Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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