11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize