she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
