Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
