He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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