I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You were trust falling into bushes
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
