it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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