Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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