it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize