I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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