dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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