Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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