Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He better not be in your backpack
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
