So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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