my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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