It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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