No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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